Amarjeetsingh.net
Quoting one of my professors at UCLA "Most of the acts of humans are governed by causality, with the primary causal factor being how others would perceive this act of mine". Its good that like every other human being god in his own good wisdom and discretion didnt provide me with an opportunity to get to know what others are thinking about me. Had this been the case i would have always done what others think is right and what makes me look like a smart person to them, quelling my ingenuity and resisting me from being myself. Now that i dont know what others are thinking about me but still i account for that in my actions, essentially my actions depend on how i perceive myself. Be it in personal or professional life, its often a scary thing to candidly think about why you did anything in a particular way. The reason being that it comes back as not what you would have exactly done if not forced by irrepressible pressure from humans around you. That obviates the importance of introspection and amending one's thought process to do what one really wants to do than doing something governed by external factors all the time.
This morning i thought of doing the same, thinking about few aspects about who i am and how i perceive the world around me. Frankly I am not a nice man to know. A person with an unattractive physical appearance pronounced by unkempt beard and not so nicely tied turban. A nice physical appearance, like others is attractive to me in the first instant but is not the stuff that makes a lasting impression. Instead, having substance in speech and thought process, that comes about with the gray matter up at the highest level in human body is what impresses me. Early into the conversation, getting proofs of lack of its existence makes me completely disinterested and i couldnt hide it as well.
I am one of those who like to make new friends, but am miserable in keeping up with the burden of being in constant touch with them. Over the past few years i have lost quite a few and frankly i am more happy than distressed at this loss. That gives me more time for myself than just taking along the burden of keeping up with the relationships. Thats the reason i dont have very many good friends now but like i said, am completely happy with the way it is. I like having lots of time for myself and expending it the way i want to. That may be a very self-centric approach to life but whatever it is, i like it.
This can go on and on for a long time but i guess now i have to leave as i have to accede to my stomach's call and go for some breakfast. But i liked this idea of introspection, waking up early in the morning and penning it down, so hopefully i would be doing it quite often now.